when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack
Me, fighting a yoga mom in the organic food market circa 2023: take your hand off that peach or I’ll vaccinate your children against polio
fascinating post I made in 2018
What Palestinian resistance will always show you is that when people in the west talk about supporting resistance and freedom fighters they mean in Star Wars shows and not in real life because in real life violence occurs and that’s a big no no. Don’t tell them about what the occupiers were doing though because apparently that’s okay.
There are worse reasons to date a man than his mom is an excellent cook with an awesome hype game.
there’s just nothing that beats being at home. the world will try to convince me i should be doing more and it’s like yeah but im at home
like if youre at home right now just take a minute to be like UGH yes im at home
I love that as we go through life we find things we fall in love with that are little pieces of our loved ones. Like my favorite ice cream is rocky road because it was the flavor my mom always got growing up. I love dogs and so did my dad. My grandma loved Ferrero chocolate and so do I. My grandpa introduced me to my love for classic country, like Johnny Cash & Dolly Parton. So many things in life that I’m fond of sparked an interest because of someone who shared their love with me. :’)
“The average US president has been charged with 1.54 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 71, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted
Felonies Donld is now up to 79 felonies, for a statistical average of 1.71 felonies per president
velvetacademia-deactivated20210:
BEE DAGGER !!
the new pornbots’ url game is INSANE. complicit-rotting and warmmourning you would have done numbers if you were real
Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn’t read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There’s been multiple “I’m DB Cooper” death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today’s money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons
I just saw someone say the words “jokingly gaslight” this might be a good time to reintroduce the internet to the terms “lying” or perhaps “pranking” or even just “joking” on it’s own
997:
will i ever feel fergalicious again
hey have you guys met my swiss nb friend Yodel, they/he, who -












